


Right

by WallabyKangerooAmbiguous



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Fluff and Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Poe Dameron Is A Mess, Poe Dameron-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-25 14:52:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7537096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WallabyKangerooAmbiguous/pseuds/WallabyKangerooAmbiguous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leave it to Poe Dameron, who could charm woman and man alike into his life, into his bed and into his heart, to choose the one person he feels he can’t have. Finn is too pure, too sweet, too gentle, too compassionate, too -</p><p>“Poe?” The rough, deep voice startles him. He snaps back to reality to see Finn standing before him. Of course; he’d forgotten he’d been standing in front of the man’s door.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Right

**Author's Note:**

> Well, it's 3:30 and I wrote this. Kinda sorta beta read, but not really. Literally just ~1,500 words of Poe being a hot mess, with some fluff thrown in at the end. As per usual, feedback is always welcome.

As soft twilight falls over the thick jungle canopies of D’Qar, Poe can’t sleep.

He tries, and tries, and tries. Even a plethora of different positions, tinkering, - which _always_ makes him tired, but tonight does nothing - and watching a few holovids does nothing to help his insomnia.

It doesn’t surprise him, really. He’s been having trouble sleeping for some time now, and it has only seemed to worsen as time trudges on. Being captured and interrogated - he can’t bring himself to say torture; every time the word comes into his mind it makes his head swim and his stomach tighten - seems to have finally done him in.

So, he tosses. He turns. He throws the blankets off and pulls them back on. He lays in positions that no sane person could have ever even considered. Finally, he stands up, walks out the door of his quarters, and wanders.

He doesn’t know where he’s going. He doesn’t think. He supposes he hopes the darkened, quiet halls of the Resistance base will help him. They don’t.

He trusts his feet to lead him, meanders through the corridors without so much as a passing thought as to where he might be headed. Until he comes to a stop in front of Finn’s door.

Poe sighs. He should’ve known this was where he’d go. His hopeless crush on Finn - amplified by thinking he’d lost Finn, their joyful reunion, and subsequently almost losing him again - seems to be increasing by the day. Every time he sees the kid, his chest tightens and he has to smile through it.

And stars, he wishes it wasn’t like this. Finn is so young; so _vibrant_. He’s got so much to offer to everyone around him. So much to offer to the galaxy. Poe is the best pilot in the Resistance, sure, but he doesn’t have Finn’s vibrant youth about him anymore. He feels worn down.

He feels _old_.

Even thinking the word makes him grimace. He can’t believe himself - he’s standing outside Finn’s door at Force-knows-what-time, putting himself down about his hopeless crush. No, not a crush. Jess calls it infatuation, Snap calls it romantic attraction. Iolo, ever the romantic, calls it love. No one besides Poe calls it a crush. And he supposes it’s not. It’s more.

And of course it’s more. That’s his luck, isn’t it? Leave it to Poe Dameron, who could charm woman and man alike into his life, into his bed and into his heart, to choose the one person he feels he can’t have. Finn is too pure, too sweet, too gentle, too compassionate, too -

“Poe?” The rough, deep voice startles him. He snaps back to reality to see Finn standing before him. Of course; he’d forgotten he’d been standing in front of the man’s door.

So he puts on his best Poe smile and he tries to look casual. “Hey, buddy. Did I wake you?” He hopes he didn’t. That would make him feel worse, so much worse.

“No, I haven’t slept at all.” Finn replies. Poe shifts his weight. “What are you doing?”

“Couldn’t sleep.” Poe says. He supposes it’s feasible that Finn has been having similar insomnia issues. The thought of Finn tossing and turning like Poe does so often, doing everything in his power to sleep and not being able to, makes Poe’s gut wrench. “Been a little bit of an insomniac lately. It's really nothing to worry about, though.”

Truthfully, it probably is something he should worry about. But Finn doesn’t need to be bothered with Poe’s issues. The boy probably has plenty of his own.

To Poe’s surprise - and joy, not that he’d admit that to anyone - Finn smiles softly at him. The look makes his heart stutter in his chest. “Me, too. I thought… well, nevermind.”

Poe wishes he had finished that thought. Wishes so badly he knew what Finn was going to say. But he doesn’t want to pry, so he just settles for shrugging. “I guess I should probably go, then.”

He turns to leave, but Finn’s sudden grip on his wrist stops him. He turns back to face his friend, trying to ignore the fluttering in his stomach. “Wait. You, um… I could show you the place I like to go to when I can’t sleep.”

“Oh.” Poe says. “Oh, yeah. Sounds nice, buddy.”

Finn’s smile splits into a grin at this. Poe can’t help but smile back; the expression on Finn’s face is that of pure, unadulterated joy. “Alright, come on.” Poe glances dubiously at his sock-clad feet, but Finn is already leading him off, down another corridor.

They walk for some time, not saying anything. Finally, they come to what appears to be a large storage room. Poe raises an eyebrow at the sight of the dark room, wondering what the hell Finn could ever want with a boring old storage room.

The answer is clear as Finn pulls him around some boxes to reveal a makeshift sort of campsite. There are large windows overlooking the jungle landscape of D’Qar; a rare commodity around the base. Blankets of varying colors are spread out across the floor, and small lanterns cast the room with a greenish glow. Finn turns back to Poe, still smiling. Poe smiles back.

“Buddy, this is…” he trails off, trying to find the right word. When he doesn’t say anything, Finn’s brow furrows slightly.

“Do you like it?” He asks, the hope in his voice evident. Poe feels like he might need to sit down.

“Yeah, Finn. I love it. Can we sit?”

“Yeah!” Finn replies. He sits on the blankets and pats the spot next to him, signalling Poe to join him. The pilot does. They sit in silence for a while, looking at D’Qar and lost in thought. Eventually, Finn turns to Poe with an unreadable expression on his face. “Poe,” he begins. “I… uh… the other day, I heard some of the pilots talking about you - uh, me - us, I guess.”

Poe’s stomach churns. _Shit. Shit, shit, shit._ He’s going to _kill_ Pava. “Yeah, buddy? What did they say?” He hopes he sounds normal. Force, he hopes he sounds normal.

“Just a few things. I only heard a little bit of their conversation; when they noticed me they stopped talking.” Finn says. Poe shifts his weight on the blankets nervously. “The only thing I really caught was that you should tell me… something. Did you - did you want to tell me something?”

If Poe didn’t know any better, he’d think that there was a note of hope in Finn’s voice. “Finn, buddy, listen.” How should he word this? He’s tried before, and it’s never worked. How do you tell someone that they mean the galaxy and beyond to you? How do you tell someone that you could go the rest of your life looking into their eyes and nothing else? How does the best pilot in the Resistance tell someone that he loves them more than flying, or BB-8, or the Resistance itself? How does Poe Dameron, Resistance poster boy, tell Finn, beautiful defected ex-stormtrooper badass, that he is _in love with him_?

He takes a deep breath, in through his nose and out through his mouth. He could be direct. He could blurt it out and let Finn take it how he wished. He could make a bunch of convoluted analogies and drawn out declarations of love. He could change the subject. Eventually, he settles on a mix of the former two options.

“You mean a lot to me, Finn. You know that.” He’s choosing every word carefully, one after another, like a baby taking its first steps. “I mean, stars, buddy. You saved my life, completed my mission. And it’s like… like, when I saw you, something in me kind of just went… oh, there you are. I’ve been _looking_ for you.” He sighs frustratedly and runs a hand through his hair. He doesn’t dare look Finn in the eyes. “I guess I’m just trying to tell you I’m in love with you, buddy.”

Once the words are out, the silence to follow is stifling. Poe glances up at Finn’s face and cringes, wishing he could go back in time and stop himself from even wandering to Finn’s door in the first place. The boy’s eyes are wide, his lips parted slightly, his breathing quick and shallow. Poe wants to melt into the floor.

“I don’t - you don’t have to feel pressured.” The urge to fill this unbearable silence takes over and Poe begins to ramble. He might as well put it all out there, right? “I would never want you to feel pressured. I know I’m older than you, and you’re so young and vibrant and good and I’m just… me.”

“Just you?” Those are the first words Finn speaks, and he sounds almost… affronted. Poe considers making a mad dash for his room and never leaving it again, but something - some stubbornness, maybe, or perhaps a convoluted sense of hope - keeps him rooted to the spot. “Poe, what do you mean _just you_?”

Poe shrugs. He feels stupid. “Look at me. Poe, please, look at me.”

The pilot does. Finn’s lips are still parted, all perfect and full and kissable. His eyebrows have furrowed again. “Poe, you are the best pilot in the Resistance. You singlehandedly took out Starkiller Base. You’re the best we’ve got and I’m honored to call you a friend. A comrade. Hell, I’m honored to even know you.”

Poe says nothing.

Finn opens his mouth as if to speak again, but then closes it. He lets out a huff of breath, like he’s frustrated. “I can’t say this.” He says, and Poe is going to ask what he means, but before he can even comprehend it Finn is cupping his cheek in his hand - and what a perfect hand. Calloused and rough and warm, touch featherlight and each point of connection like a little fire on Poe’s skin - and leaning in to kiss Poe.

The kiss is… indescribable. The only word Poe can come up with is _perfect_. Finn’s lips are soft and they slot together with Poe’s like they’re meant to be there. Poe wishes he could pause this moment and stay in it forever.

When they pull apart, Finn doesn’t move his hand. Poe doesn’t open his eyes for a long few seconds, feeling like if he opens his eyes Finn will disappear and he’ll be alone. That he’ll wake up from some nice, beautiful dream.

But Finn doesn’t go away, even when Poe opens his eyes. He’s still there, eyes darting over Poe’s face. “Was that… was that okay?”

“Buddy, trust me, that was more than okay.” Poe replies. He hopes Finn doesn’t notice the hot tears pricking in his eyes. Finn smiles again. Poe thinks he doesn’t want to go another day without seeing that smile.

Finn lays down, pulling Poe down with him. Almost as soon as they’re comfortable, Poe’s eyelids are drooping. When Finn presses a soft kiss to his head and whispers something like ‘sleep, Poe’, his world turns black.

A mechanic finds them there the next morning, curled up together on Finn’s blankets. He lets them sleep, but word travels fast. Iolo spends a whole day stealing glances at Finn and Poe together, smiling softly, and Snap owes Jess twenty credits.

Poe doesn’t notice most of his friends’ (overzealous and borderline uncalled for) reactions. He’s more focused on the way Finn’s hand fit perfectly in his, and the way Finn keeps looking at him like he’s all the stars and the moons and the planets all put into one, and the way that it seems that with Finn beside him, the galaxy is quiet and optimistic and good.

Poe is more focused on the way it seems that with Finn beside him, everything feels right.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow my star wars writing blog! (finn-more-like-fine.tumblr.com)  
> Follow my main tumblr! (andymintass.tumblr.com)  
> And lastly, follow me on twitter! (twitter.com/elizaking_)


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